Vinahradau Made Backgammon from Bread and Gifted it to Stepan Putsila

«Greetings to everyone, folks! Kashchei (known in the world as Eduard Palchys) recently wrote to me: «Pasha-Pasha, we need help. Little Moose (known in the world as Ihar Losik) and I want to make a gift for Nekhta (known in the world as Stsiopa Putsila). But not a simple one, a thematic one.

We need backgammon made of bread, — my interlocutor continues. — But the problem is that our hands grow from the wrong place (we're not good at manual work), and you, Vinahrad, are not capable of creative work, but, as an experienced critic, you must master this small form».

And what about me? My hands also don't grow from places intended by evolution, but nevertheless. «Let's try!» — I say. But I immediately pointed out a formidable insurmountable obstacle: there is no bread like in prison, and nowhere to get it.

Do you understand, folks, bread in prison is a wonderful miracle. Raw inside and overcooked outside. When consumed, it splendidly fills the intestines with gas, and for crafts — it's perfect. I went to look for the closest possible option and found it. So now there will be a small master class on making backgammon from what is available in the cell.

Павялічыць

First, we take our little bread, cut off the crusts, and frantically knead it until it becomes dough. Since I couldn't find such raw pulp as in prison, I'll have to moisten it with water.

In backgammon, there are two different colored checkers, so we dye part of the bread with one of the colors available to us in the cell — blue. For this, we dismantle a pen, take out the rod, and blow all the ink from it directly into our preparation. This will result in a blue substance.

And also, in backgammon, dice are simply necessary (also known as zariki, or stones, or bones — 2 pieces).

It would also be good to color them, but for this, we will use lead from colored pencils. Firstly, not to repeat ourselves, and secondly, the color there is cheerful. So we take a pencil, remove the lead, and crush it into a powder, add it to the kneaded bread, and mix thoroughly.

To all our bread preparations, we add a good pinch of salt and leave them to sour in tightly sealed cellophane bags for a day. This is necessary so that the bread magic happens and our products don't crack when drying. The next day, we can boldly start shaping our products. I immediately molded much more than needed because I suspected that the excessively high-quality Lithuanian bread would let me down and some of the checkers and dice would crack (which is what happened).

Павялічыць

Since I'm bad at drawing (see above regarding where my hands grow from), Little Moose had to draw the board, and he did an excellent job. To give you an idea of how bad I am at drawing, in vocational hairdressing school, I had a subject called «drawing». And do you know, folks, how many of these drawings I drew myself during my studies? That's right — zero. All the necessary drawings were done for me by my female classmates in exchange for chocolates.

The board needs to be glued onto cardboard so it doesn't wrinkle during use. Little Moose suggested using a glue stick for this, after which I immediately dismissed his idea. What glue stick?! Only paste, only hardcore and authentic. We take the same bread, about half a spoon of sugar, and start chewing. Then this unappetizing goo is strained through a handkerchief stretched over a soap dish — and voila! Our sticky goo is ready. We connect our board and cardboard sheets with its help.

The last touch remains — the dice. They are already formed and dried, I poked holes in them with a pen rod in advance, so it just remained to color them in with something. Amateurs use toothpaste.

You can do that, of course, but experienced people know that it will definitely fall out at the most inconvenient moment. But Teimurov's cream-paste (a thing for excessive foot sweating. It can be kept in a cell to improve the environment. H — humanism.) — is the choice of masters. Generously lubricate our dice, remove the excess, and everything is ready!

Stsiopa, happy birthday to you! All the best!» — wrote Pavel Vinahradau.

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